It was this man's quest to import into Australia a Royal Ordnance Factory (ROF) Fox that led to this strange tale. So let me tell one and all the Fox Odyssey, a tale of passion and one man's determination to fight on, no matter what hurdles where thrown in his way.
It began one day, when a germ of an idea planted itself in the mind of a mortal. It lay dormant while awaiting the convergence of circumstances to allow it to take root and to develop into a life altering idea. The odyssey really began with a simple phone call. In December last, the idea of allowing the Australian public to have a really hands on experience with the quickly vanishing armoured vehicles was first conceived. The at first seemed deceptively simple: why not bring to Australia an exotic vehicle never before seen on these shores. For the right money these vehicles were still accessible in the motherland and all you needed was Import Approval from the Australian Government and Export Approval from the British Government. Could anything have been more straight forward?
The First Stage: Purchase the Fox
After weeks of careful negotiations, the deal was struck to purchase a Fox for the princely sum of twelve thousand British pounds. Then came the first hurdle: how to pay for an expensive piece of hardware in a foreign land. The options were many -- a bank cheque in UK pounds, PAYPAL, international money transfer -- but which would work best? The safest and cheapest choice was deemed to be an international money transfer offered by a national bank, via the magic of an Internet transfer. But there was the small problem of a A$5000 a day limit. Friday night the first transfer did take place, and another installment completed on Saturday, and so it continued until the early hours of Monday morning when all A$20,000 had been sent.
It was a nervous wait for all involved, until the money started appearing in its new home. However none involved realised there was a $20,000 limit on international money transfers, but the magic of Google proclaimed that £12,000 was just $19,890 and so the transfer went ahead. Yet, it was still rejected? Why? It seems the exchange rate of the bank and their processing fee pushed the total of the transactions to $20,212.
The participants withdrew, regrouped their finances into smaller transactions, transferred their forces into the correct bank accounts and this time... the transaction went through! Receipt received!
The Second Stage: Obtain import certificate
So did we come to the next stage, confronting the government bureaucracy dragon: fill in the paperwork, have your photo taken and certified to show good character, include the requisite funds, sign an oath in blood to surrender your first born child and post. The certificate of import will then find its way back within the next three weeks. Four weeks. Five weeks. But lo! Here is an mail sent through the Internet and it must contain the certificate of import. Well no, after five long weeks the email was naught but a request for more information. So diagrams, photos and blue prints were sourced and dispatched forthwith. Six weeks. Seven weeks. It is now time to confront the dragon in its lair, only to find out the certificate had been sent out into the world just the day before. Ho-bloody-ray.
The Third Stage: Obtain export certificate
Now it fell to the Exporter to confront the British dragon, and request permission to for the export of the Fox. This process only takes three weeks. Four weeks. Five weeks, and paperwork arrives that needs to be completed so the export application can be commenced. Said paperwork is completed, and sent back via the magic of the Internet. Waiting resumes. This process only takes three weeks. Four weeks, and an Internet mail brings news that one section was completed in error, entire form needs to be redone and resubmitted. Again the paperwork is completed and sent via the magic of the Internet. Waiting resumes. This process only takes three weeks. The dragon does not reply. But the questers are not deterred, for they have a contact within the dragon's lair and are soon informed that the paperwork has been updated and they must resubmit on the new form that, to mere mortals, looks identical to the old form. Waiting resumes. This process only takes three weeks.
But it seems that dragons are solitary creatures by nature, and don't communicate well with other dragons and so the paperwork is held up pending answers to important questions such as: "Is the Fox's internal communication harness only for use in the Fox?" and "Is the cam net infra red reflective?" To which the questers wish to respond with "Don't bloody know and at this stage don’t really care," but they are not that easily daunted and appropriate answers are provided. Finally, they are informed, "It will be with you by Tuesday." So Tuesday arrives, but the certificate does not. Wednesday passes, and then Thursday, but still no certificate. The contact with the dragon's lair is renewed, and the questers are informed, "It will absolutely be with you by Tuesday." Tuesday comes and goes. Then Wednesday. Then Thursday. But come Friday morning, an early morning phone call from the other side of the world bears news the certificate has been sited, and now the Fox can begins it journey to the colonies?
Of course not.
The Fourth Stage: Obtain the other import certificate
The other import certificate is the one that no one actually talks about but if you don't have it, they will seize and destroy your treasured possession. This is an epic tale in its own right. First you need a form from the state police saying they are OK with having your armoured vehicle loose in Tasmania. Not the exemption certificate that you already obtained after weeks of emails and phone calls to that same state police force. A different form that is henceworth sent out, and completed, and sent to the dragon's nest in Canberra accompanied by all the requested documentation: the deactivation certificate, the blueprint, photos, the first import certificate, photos of both licenses and an oath signed in blood to surrender your second born child. Only to informed that the application form sent by the state police needed to be completed and returned to state police, so that they can complete another form to be sent by return post. This is the form that is then sent to Canberra accompanied by all the aforementioned documentations one Thursday by the wonder of overnight postal delivery. Come Tuesday, an email arrives bearing news of the application's reception in Canberra and its pending processing. Waiting resumes. This process only takes three weeks.
TO BE CONTINUED
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